Is your relationship in critical condition?
Some couples come into my office in “critical condition”. This usually means the “D” word has come up (divorce). What’s the common theme? They brush their problems under the rug, for years. Both live under the same roof dissatisfied with each other. They stop expressing their needs. They avoid any real conversations about their relationship. They live on the surface. They drift.
When you establish a norm of silence around sensitive issues, the habit is hard to break. Both partners become accustomed to the emotional distance, despite its lack of nourishment. It is easier to bury heads into the sand than to face difficult conversations.
Healthy, consistent, intimate conversation is vital to your relationship health.
Consider one topic you know you have avoided.
· What am I afraid of?
· What is the worst that can happen if I bring this up?
· What are the consequences of not bringing it up?
· Do the consequences outweigh my fears?
When you give yourself permission to speak freely from your heart, you give your partner an important gift. You let them see you, hear you and feel you. You show up fully. You present your truth. You demonstrate risk. You model vulnerability.
In opening the door to intimate conversation, you invite your partner to step inside and join you. You no longer bear the difficult topic alone. You avoid the “D” word. Together, you work toward resolution.