Is Facebook ruining your relationship?

Q. Frustrated with wife or myself not sure? Sex is a rare occurrence anymore. It is usually always good when we have it, but sometimes it feels like a struggle to get there. I feel like she is so uninterested in it most times for example — the other night she asked if I wanted to take a bath, so we did then after I gave her a full body massage and then started to kiss her and some light foreplay and she just laid there never made a sound or acted interested at all. So I got frustrated and stopped and she tells me she’s just tired. I get up and go to the bathroom and come back and she is sitting in bed looking at her Facebook. I’m frustrated and not sure what to do! This kinda stuff happens a lot it kinda sucks.

A. Of course, you feel frustrated! I imagine that you might also feel hurt. It sounds like she has an interest in affectionate touch but she’s not primed for hot sex. Good sex always starts with communication. You both need to talk about what’s happening. Does she have a particularly difficult schedule that keeps her tired? If so, ask what you can do to help make things easier for her. She needs to know how you feel. Tell her how you felt when you saw her on Facebook after saying she was too tired for sex. I’m curious about what it’s like when it’s good. Is alcohol involved? Did it happen on a day off from work? If you have children, were the kids out of the house? What makes the good times good? How can you create those circumstances more frequently? (not applicable to alcohol use). What would she like you to do to help her get turned on? Talk about what you can both do to have a mutually satisfying sex life.

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