When you think of being attractive, what do you think of? Do you think of your body? Or, do you go within? If you’re wondering how to feel beautiful and confident, stay with me.
We often get caught up in the outward appearance of beauty. We’re bombarded with images through the media and culture that say beauty is something physical. We’re told that beauty, attractiveness, sexiness is looking a certain way – dressing a certain way, having a certain body type.
Truth? Beauty is deeper than your physical body. It’s more than skin-deep. Connecting to your inner beauty ties directly to confidence. Your inner beauty, who you are, shines from within. When you know this, confidence naturally arises.
Confidence reflects our internal beauty which inspires attraction from others. True confidence impacts how you show up in the world, how you show up in your relationships. That’s why it is so necessary to deconstruct what it means to be beautiful so that you can tap into confidence. Let’s break this down further.
I’ve been meeting with someone for some time now, and we’ve been working through her lack of confidence. Specifically, she’s been feeling a lack of sexual confidence due to poor body image, and it’s impacting how she’s showing up in “the bedroom”. Through our deconstruction, we’ve been redefining what beautiful and confident really means, away from stereotypical definitions involving body image alone.
Your definition of beauty – what it looks like and what it feels like – absolutely impacts how you show up in your life. You have to let go of what you think beautiful, attractiveness, sexiness means to everyone else. If you want to show up beautiful and confident in your life, and in your relationship, you have to create solid definitions for yourself and use this as your standard.
Confidence is Beautiful
I recently bought a shirt that says “Confidence is Beautiful.” And, let me tell you, it is! This shirt has become my favorite. I love wearing it. I love the message. It’s a beautiful reminder that beauty is not tied to appearance. How I carry myself and live my life inspires attraction. Confidence means feeling into who you are and being exactly who you are.
It’s about feeling self-assured in one’s own character. Translation? You like your own personality, how you interact with others, how you treat yourself and how you think. You feel solid, strong and resilient. You know your potential in the world and you act accordingly.
I don’t know about you but I think that’s pretty darn BEAUTIFUL (and hot too!)
When we let go of beauty as “skin deep” only, we can tap into the richness of what makes us each unique. When we redefine our understanding of beauty, we empower ourselves. That is the message that I want to share with you.
If I asked you to wear this shirt that says, “Confidence is Beautiful”, even just for a day, how would you feel? What would it be like to feel more confident in your life? How would that tap into your definition of beautiful?
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How to Feel Beautiful and Confident
Once you redefine beauty and understand how this ties to confidence, you may think you are set. But these perspectives are not easy to maintain. The onslaught of images and messages from mainstream media can be damaging to how we view ourselves and how we define beauty.
There is so much undoing of confidence in our day-to-day lives that we need a daily reminder of what confidence looks and feels like, for us.
So, what makes for being or feeling confident and beautiful? Here are three characteristics of what connecting to your inner beauty and confidence look and feel like:
- Feeling good in your own skin.
I don’t mean your appearance (although I also support a healthy physical lifestyle). I mean how you live your life. I’m talking about how you feel day-in and day-out. Do you feel like you owe anyone an explanation for who you are or how you show up in the world?
You feel confident, that is, good in your own skin, when you realize that you don’t have to explain why you’ve made certain decisions, why you choose to live the way you do, or why you like the things that you like. You don’t have to justify yourself to anyone. You’re not seeking anyone else’s approval.
- Saying “yes” to life.
If you’re saying “yes” to life,” you’re not living small. You’re allowing yourself to take risks and to welcome growth. You’re empowering yourself to find your courage. Even when things don’t work out the way you envisioned, you’re still okay!
No matter what, you still feel good about who you are. You’re not turning down opportunities because you’re feeling insecure or afraid. Instead, you’re saying “yes,” even if you’re feeling insecure or afraid. That’s pretty darn beautiful.
- Accepting all parts of you.
We all have parts of ourselves that we feel great and not so great about – a decision we’ve made, how we’ve dealt with a situation, or certain quirks that make us different. Accepting all these parts of you naturally leads to confidence. From a place of full acceptance, you can say “yes” to life and feel good in your own skin.
Confidence requires you to feel whole and complete. This frees you from looking to your partner as a way to complete you. You know you can easily stand on your own two feet, solid, secure and radiant.
When you show up connected to your inner beauty, confident and complete, believe me, you are super attractive. Then when you join your life with another person, together, you can make an even bigger, greater life.
Love and Live Confident
When we break down the connection between beauty, confidence, and attraction, we recognize that beauty is more than skin-deep. It sits deep within you. Confidence is not passive. Confidence is something that you have to activate by applying meaningful definitions of beauty, attraction, and sexiness to your perspective. When you show up in the world, confident, you attract meaningful, quality relationships. Most importantly, you live a life inspired by self-love.
You can love and live better. You can be in love your life. You can be in love with your partnership.
Here’s where to start…
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