Question: All my husband wants is oral sex…

Please advise me. I have been married for 6 years now. We have a 7-month-old son together. And after giving birth I found out that he has cheated on me, not sexually, but he was talking to someone over the phone. Also after giving birth, I think he doesn’t like the way I look. The main problem is that he is always wanting me to give him a blowjob. I have asked him so many times about why we can’t have sex but every time he has an excuse. He hasn’t given me an oral in 3 years. I asked him a couple weeks ago to give me an oral he said he will but he never did. I’m really hurt and frustrated because when I ask him if there’s something wrong he says no and that he loves me a lot. I’m not sure what to do. I think he does watch porn but I have never seen him masturbate.


Thank you for submitting your anonymous question.

In this video, I share a few thoughts on this subject.

  • Could your partner have performance issues that keep him from wanting to have vaginal intercourse?
  • Why engage in something that isn’t working for you?
  • If you continue to engage, could it be familiar and could that familiarity keep you from having the full connection you are seeking?
  • Think about all the areas of your life where you are in a giving position.

I share my thoughts on all of the above plus more on submission and how we are conditioned to express ourselves.


This video isn’t a substitute for professional therapy and is for educational purposes only.

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