Q. I love my lover’s tongue but sometimes he can’t get it right. I’m frustrated, what can I do?
A. It can certainly feel frustrating to not have your sexual needs met. Guess what? It’s not all his fault! Chances are he doesn’t even know he’s doing it wrong. The key to the door of sexual pleasure lies in telling your lover what you like and don’t like. BE SPECIFIC!
Often times, sexual partners assume way too many things about each other. If their previous lover liked it this way, you must too. If the guys in the locker room said, “and when you’re done, end it with a clockwise swirl”, you’re lover is going to do it. If you don’t give him feedback, he will assume that you loved it. So much sexual behavior is based on assumptions, either learned from friends, previous partners and/or porn, that we overlook the source that has the true answers, YOU.
So what does all of this mean? Communicate. Do this through talk, sounds, moans, body gestures. Tell him you want it harder, faster, slower, different pressure, a little to the left… whatever you need to say to help him learn your sweet spot. And when he hits it, let him know it, “Yes, that’s it!”.
If that doesn’t work, seek out educational books or videos. He may need to study up on technique, but with your loving support he can gain the confidence to move his tongue in ways that will rock your world!