In sex therapy, we focus on much more than anatomy. If you only had to figure out how to make “the parts” work together, then an instruction manual would do. But what happens when the parts work together yet you still have problems?
Let me introduce you to what I call, The Five Planes of Your Sex Life. These refer to the physical, mental, emotional, spiritual and sexual planes that influence your sex life. Learn more below.
The Physical Plane
This refers to the health of your overall body, including your genitalia. It boils down to how well you care for your body, including diet, exercise and medical check-ups. Neglecting good care of your body sets you up for problems, especially sexual dysfunctions.
The Mental Plane
Your brain is your biggest sex organ! What you think about dictates the quality of your sex life. Stress can wreak havoc on your mental state, running constant to-do lists. If you struggle to generate sexy thoughts, sex will become just another “to-do” on your never-ending list.
The Emotional Plane
All types of emotions will influence how you show up as a lover. If you feel angry at your mom, your anger could show up in the bedroom. If you hate your body, you show up less in the bedroom. If your partner disappointed you, you might not show up at all.
The Spiritual Plane
Sex is often un-inspired. For some, it’s “the next step” in a relationship or it’s obligatory and/or unsatisfying. This plane requires self-exploration in identifying your inspirations for sex. How can you have sex in a way that ignites you, your passion and aligns with your spirit?
The Sexual Plane
Our sex is with us from birth. Knowing your sexual plane involves a deep understanding of self. Why do you choose to engage in sex? For connection? For release? For power? For love? How do you choose to be sexual? How does it feel to practice sex? What does sex mean to you? How has it influenced you? How does all of this influence your sexual identity?
Experience and education have taught us that sex is multidimensional. Sex therapy requires a holistic lens. When you resolve problems related to your body function, your thoughts, feelings, inspirations and a deep understanding of your own sexual evolution, you create opportunities for an empowered, conscious, passionate sex life.