Sexual droughts are all too familiar. Your sex life ebbs and flows. At times sex feels juicy and abundant. Other times, well, as dry as the Sahara desert. How do you deal with sexual scarcity?
In couples therapy, I see this issue all the time. I tackled it head on in my most recent article for Goodtherapy.org. Just click the link below to get 8 specific tips on how to maintain intimate connection through sexual scarcity. Feel free to join the conversation at the end of the article!
Before you click the link, let me dispel a long held myth for you. Are you ready? Here it goes:
Married folks actually have more sex than singles.
Yes. You read correctly. I know, you can pick your jaw up from off the ground. For the record, let me clarify that when I use the word “married” I refer to anyone in a long term relationship.
So before you go thinking the grass is greener on the other side, chances are that if you are married, you are actually having more sex than your single counterparts. Are you thinking, “Oh no! That’s terrible because I never have sex!”
Chances are that “never” may be an exaggeration. You might fall into that camp but it is more likely that it happens infrequently or simply not as much as you might like it to. Know that most couples experience highs and lows when it comes to their sex life. Here is the reality of long term relationships:
Peaks and valleys are totally normal.
Sometimes, it’s not about trying to “do it more” (although that can be fun and exciting). Rather, you can shift into learning how to navigate when it’s not happening. That is where my recent article comes into play.
I encourage you to have both skill sets. I have written multiple articles on how to get your groove back. Take the time to also learn how to maintain intimate connection when sex is less frequent than you like.