Sexual inhibition and what to do about it…

Have you ever wanted to learn more about something or get help in an area of your life, but the topic felt taboo?  Perhaps even the title of this blog, How to Overcome Sexual Inhibition made you hesitate to open it.

What would your coworkers think if they saw you open this email?  What would your friends think if they saw you like our FB page? What would your spouse think if they saw you read this blog?

Fear of what others might think stops you. Fear of exploring sex or your sexuality stop you. Being known for doing so stops you.

Sex.  Intimacy.  Therapy. These are not topics to fear.  These are not taboo. These topics may be what no one talks about, but I’m committed to changing this, along with how we talk about it.  I like to say that at Center for Intimate Relationships, we talk about what others are afraid to talk about.

If you’re wondering how to overcome sexual inhibition, it all starts with giving yourself permission.

Censoring Sex

I had an experience that I think underscores the experience of every single one of us.  And, it’s about sex, intimacy, and therapy.

I was in a position with my business where I was ready to hire someone.  I wanted to hire another therapist to help individuals and couples create extraordinary relationships and satisfying sex lives.

I created a job description for a part-time psychotherapist.  Some time went by, and I realized no one was able to view the job description.  I kept looking at the statistics to see if anyone was responding, and it kept showing no views.  That’s when I called the company to find out why.

They took a look at my job description, and about halfway through, this is what was said –

Customer Service Rep: “Oh. Yes. I’m sorry, ma’am, the reason that this isn’t getting posted is that you have the words “better sex”  in your job description, and we don’t really allow for that.  The system will automatically kick it out.”

Me: “Really, because the term better sex is in there?”  (Said with annoyance). I took a deep breath and then said, “Okay, well, what about if we change the language a little bit – what about if we change it to something about improving your sex life – would that be something that’s allowed in the job description?”

Customer Service Rep: “Um, no, no, that’s not going to be allowed either.”

Keep in mind that this referred to the area that describes the company and our area of specialty. None of this was allowed due to the word “sex” in the copy.

What No One Talks About

Isn’t this exactly what we see every single day?  That sexuality is something we can’t talk about? I couldn’t even write about it in a job description!

I had to alter how I wrote about sex and intimacy.  Meanwhile, the job description talked about being a clinical therapist, talked about working with couples, and talked about all the psychology behind it.  It talked about the technical skills, the clinical background, the licensure and the Master’s degree required!

Can you tell I’m a little fired up about this?  Because I feel like this is a daily battle that we’re up against.  We are sexual beings, even when we are not acting in a sexual way. Most of us take part in sexual acts. We are bombarded by sexuality in the media. But don’t talk about it!

We’re not allowed to acknowledge it.  It’s considered taboo. This unspoken rule infringes upon our sexual freedom, upon our ability to be comfortable in our own bodies and our own sexuality.

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I’ll say it again – Sex, Intimacy, Therapy – these are not bad words.  If you want to overcome sexual inhibition, consider taking small steps.  First, give yourself permission. You have to read about it, learn about it, and be open to it.  If you want to love and live better, you have to take action.

I’ve had folks tell me that they enjoy our blogs and/or view our Facebook videos. Then they share that they don’t ever “like” our page or our posts because “what if someone sees?” that they’ve done so? Is that you too?

I encourage you to be bold and less afraid of what others think. Be a part of a solution that allows for you and others to speak and explore healthy sex, intimacy, and even therapy.

Here’s how:

1. Go to our Facebook Page and Like our Page.  Don’t be afraid to like it because the word intimate is in the title of our business, Center for Intimate Relationships. Be bold enough to share what inspires you with others.

2. Go to our Blog and search for something you are interested in.  Don’t be afraid to search because the topic of sex might be in a blog title. Give yourself permission to be in touch with the wealth of resources that will help you love and live better.

3. Sign Up for our 10-Day Intimacy Building Challenge.  Don’t be afraid to join because the word intimacy is in the challenge.  Take on the challenge to build great intimacy with your partner. The link to sign up is below.

Love. Live. Better.

Don’t be afraid anymore.  Don’t be afraid of exploring sex or intimacy or therapy.  Overcome sexual inhibition by stepping out of your comfort zone and stepping into your courage.  Take action to do what will serve you, because your sexuality matters.

I guarantee that you will love and live better.  When you give yourself greater permissions, you will be more in love with your life.  You will be more in love with your relationship.

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