I had an experience that I think underscores the experience of every single one of us. And, it’s about sex, intimacy, and therapy.
I was in a position with my business where I was ready to hire someone. I wanted to hire another therapist to help individuals and couples create extraordinary relationships and satisfying sex lives.
I created a job description for a part-time psychotherapist. Some time went by, and I realized no one was able to view the job description. I kept looking at the statistics to see if anyone was responding, and it kept showing no views. That’s when I called the company to find out why.
They took a look at my job description, and about halfway through, this is what was said –
Customer Service Rep: “Oh. Yes. I’m sorry, ma’am, the reason that this isn’t getting posted is that you have the words “better sex” in your job description, and we don’t really allow for that. The system will automatically kick it out.”
Me: “Really, because the term better sex is in there?” (Said with annoyance). I took a deep breath and then said, “Okay, well, what about if we change the language a little bit – what about if we change it to something about improving your sex life – would that be something that’s allowed in the job description?”
Customer Service Rep: “Um, no, no, that’s not going to be allowed either.”
Keep in mind that this referred to the area that describes the company and our area of specialty. None of this was allowed due to the word “sex” in the copy.
What No One Talks About
Isn’t this exactly what we see every single day? That sexuality is something we can’t talk about? I couldn’t even write about it in a job description!
I had to alter how I wrote about sex and intimacy. Meanwhile, the job description talked about being a clinical therapist, talked about working with couples, and talked about all the psychology behind it. It talked about the technical skills, the clinical background, the licensure and the Master’s degree required!
Can you tell I’m a little fired up about this? Because I feel like this is a daily battle that we’re up against. We are sexual beings, even when we are not acting in a sexual way. Most of us take part in sexual acts. We are bombarded by sexuality in the media. But don’t talk about it!
We’re not allowed to acknowledge it. It’s considered taboo. This unspoken rule infringes upon our sexual freedom, upon our ability to be comfortable in our own bodies and our own sexuality.