Part 2 of this series continues helps you address a common concern: “How do I talk about sex?” Laurie Mintz, Ph.D. offers 5 types of sex talk in her book, A Tired Woman’s Guide to Passionate Sex. So far, we’ve covered Kitchen Table Sex Talk for sexual problem solving. Here’s her second classification:
Provocative Sex Talk – the foreplay
This is where the fun begins! This is your verbal foreplay, that time where you work your partner’s mind into a sexual frenzy long before physical play.
Some of you might feel instantly terrified of this verbal sexual play. You might feel silly saying sexy things. You might fear rejection if you put those words “out there”. Your authentic expression matters here. Do not say things you think your partner wants to hear, rather, say things that feel genuine to your personality. You might find that with time and personal permission, you take greater sexual risks.
Provocative sex talk can take many forms. You might like to tease your lover with sexy words for what you might want to do to them. Something along the lines of, “Do you know what I want to do to you tonight? I want to …” (a lot of detail makes this even hotter to receive)
Perhaps you want them to feel sexy, “You look so sexy when…” or “I love watching you when you get undressed…” I think most partners appreciate feeling like eye candy for their lovers. Provocative talk can be playful and fun, serious or hot and steamy. Choose the form that best suits the mood you want to set.
Reading an erotic novel? Find some of your favorite sexy passages and read them aloud to your partner. Or tell them your own sexual fantasies. Use the fantasy itself as erotic foreplay.
For those new to provocative sex talk, Dr. Mintz recommends that you first try it after a satisfying sexual encounter. Send an email or text the next day that says, “You really turned me on last night”. (Be as specific as you feel comfortable)
Go at your own pace, there is no right or wrong here. Speak in ways that turn you on as well as your partner.
PS: This and other material will be explored further during June’s class, Sexy Mama! Ignite Your Passion, (a class specifically for mom’s with low libidos post-kids). If you are a mama with lost libido – we can help you find it! Join us on June 12th!
Stay Tuned for: How To Talk About Sex Part 3 of 5: Let’s Have Sex Talk!