Q. My partner and I get turned on by different things. Does this doom us for hot hot sex?
A. Quite the opposite! Your different sexual preferences can actually enhance your sex life. Sort of like the glass is half full philosophy. If you both liked the exact same things, sex could become boring! Some things might be a complete and total turn off. Before you make that decision, explore them first, even if you do this on your own through self-pleasure, use of videos, etc. If it’s an absolute “no”, talk about that with your partner in a gentle way. See if you can find another way to bring this pleasurable feeling into your sex life without having to do that which turns you off. Sometimes, it’s helpful to bring elements of what you each desire into the act without one partner sacrificing pleasure. This takes creative thought and playfulness.
If you want to try to fully engage with your partner’s turn on, go into it with an open mind. Focus on how turned-on your partner is to help get your own juices going too. Witnessing your partner in their sexual ecstasy can feel very provocative! Be sure to share this post with your partner so they can do the same for you.