Last night, I went through a mini mental crisis. As I laid in bed attempting to fall asleep, a fierce storm of self-doubt and fear brewed in my mind.
When we entered 2016, I set the intention of transforming some major areas of my life. In fact, on New Year’s Day, I remember searching for the quote or statement I needed as an anchor for my goals. I settled on “Every journey begins with a single step” as my touchstone for 2016.
But last night, due to a long series of personal events, my decisions felt rocked to their core. I questioned everything I have done this year in the name of transformation.
I nudged my spouse and asked him, “Are you awake?”. When he said yes, I told him that I needed him in that moment. I shared my gripping fears and even shed tears as I spoke.
He comforted me through his words and a long, warm embrace. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and thought, “This love. THIS is what I trust more than anything on this earth”.
In my moment of serious self-doubt and mistrust of my process, when aspects of my life that once felt solid began to fall apart in my mind, I realized that the love my spouse and I share does not waiver. Ever. Not even in our most difficult moments as individuals or as a couple.
This unconditional love has been my source of strength for the last 22 years. No matter what life may throw my way, I know that I am stronger through this incredible, solid, reliable love.
Love equals security.
Do you experience this level of security in your own relationship? While my spouse and I have held deep respect and love from the start of our relationship 22 years ago, we work hard at maintaining these strengths.
It takes consciousness, thoughtfulness, serious teamwork and radical commitment to nurture this extraordinary love. This is not a passive gift that has just landed in our laps. It requires consistent effort from both of us.
Couples will often ask me, “Should a relationship require this much work?” The answer: Yes. Your relationship provides the vehicle for your greatest growth as an individual. It will challenge you to rise up and into difficult moments with integrity as you create a shared life.
When I think about my work with couples, I know that strengthening a couple’s love is the greatest benefit of our time together. Why?
When you tap into your ability to give and receive love with your spouse, you experience security and confidence in your relationship. When you stand in this love, there is no room for doubt. This love feels solid, reliable and available to you. You know in the core of your being that nothing, I mean nothing, can shake it.
This massive love becomes the base from which you live. From that profound, secure space, as an individual and as a couple, your life dreams become probable.
As an individual, you have enormous potential. But when you allow yourself to experience the depth of your love with your partner, you magnify that potential ten-fold.
When I live each day grounded in our extraordinary love, what am I/are we capable of?