Should you schedule Sex? Part One of Two….

We schedule just about everything these days but the idea of scheduling nookie seems to make some people cringe.


Well, people struggle with scheduling sex for a lot of reasons….and we want to put some into perspective.

  • It isn’t romantic.
  • It seems ‘forced’.
  • It could put one of you on the defensive — if you don’t want sex as often as your partner — you could feel like you are being pressured and if you are the partner who wants it more often, you might feel like you are begging.
  • What if you can’t agree on how often or what nights/days?
  • What if you don’t want to when it is scheduled?
  • What happens if the kids interrupt?
  • What if….

If you have ever thought about scheduling sex and had any of these thoughts, maybe this article will help you decide if scheduling sex is a good fit for your relationship.

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I want to debunk a couple of the reasons above about scheduling sex or at least give you something to think about.

  • It isn’t romantic. 

Scheduling sex can be. It can be really romantic and sexy. Think about this.

You plan your vacations, right? Once you pick that date to go to Hawaii, how often do you find yourself daydreaming about those sandy beaches and umbrella drinks?

A LOT, I bet. Well, scheduling sex can be equally exciting and let’s face it, some of us like a little time to prepare anyway. (I mean, how many times have you and your partner been kissing and as one thing leads to another and you remember that you really wanted some time to freshen up?)

Scheduling sex can give both of you time to prepare both mentally and physically. It gives you time to fantasize about your partner and that always feels good.

  • It seems ‘forced’.

Is it forced or intentional? There’s nothing wrong with setting aside time that is dedicated to your relationship for anything else, so why should there be this false idea that you are forcing sex?

If you are in a committed relationship and sex is something you both agree is important, then schedule away!!

Remember: Scheduled Sex is Intentional Sex and anytime you make your partner an intentional part of your day, you are making your relationship a priority.

Plus, it is FUN. Knowing when you are going to be skin on skin with your partner is something FUN to think about. Isn’t it?

Note ** if you and your partner are having sex as often as you both feel is working for you, keep up the good work! You don’t need to schedule sex is you both feel that your frequency is fine.

BUT… if you are like many couples, you might be on the sex teeter totter — you want more intimacy with your partner but you can’t find the time or the right mood.

If that’s the case, scheduling sex could be one great way to increase intimacy and connection!

In Part Two, I’ll share some of the ground rules and tips for scheduling sex and making this activity FUN and EXCITING!

Should You Schedule Sex Part Two

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