Behaviors that Drain Your Relationship

When problems start in relationships, it’s easy to point fingers, blame our partners, and focus solely on their shortcomings. 

“If you would just ___________ (fill in the blank), we’d be great!”

As I’ve written many times before, one partner typically wants to “fix” the other.

Wouldn’t love feel easy if it were that simple? Fix the problem partner and all will be well.

Reality? Partner problems are interdependent. Finding root causes to chronic struggles can feel murky at times. Shifting relationship patterns requires patience, tolerance and acceptance skills.

After all, it takes two to tango. Relationship research shows us that both partners uniquely contribute to relationship struggles. 

I’ve got the perfect exercise to help you and your partner self-evaluate how you may contribute to your relationship issues. We often use practices like this in couples and marriage therapy to help partners decrease blame and increase accountability.

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