Why Do Couples Stop Kissing?

A friend recently told me that she had a bad dream… she said that in her dream, her spouse was a bad kisser! She said, “I felt so relieved to wake up and realize it was only a dream. Can you imagine?!”

It got me thinking about the importance of kissing compatibility and the need to kiss often.

Most couples who report unsatisfying sex or being in a sexless marriage tell us that they don’t include kissing as a part of their foreplay.

If that’s you too, you’re missing an important act of bonding. After all, kissing is a bit like your signature, right? If you were to be in a lineup with 5 different people, and your mate was to kiss each one of you, don’t you think your partner would know your kiss from the rest? Of course, they would. 

Why Do Couples Stop Kissing?

When working with couples in relationship counseling or sex therapy, they say, “we just don’t do it anymore” and don’t seem to question why it has stopped. 

For some couples, kissing stops because they’re more focused on having an orgasm through their genitals than on mouth-to-mouth kissing.

Other couples feel short on time. Rather than use that time to kiss, they rush to have a quick orgasm.

Quickies can be fun and spontaneous but when it becomes your sex life norm, it’s usually not satisfying for both partners. 

Unfortunately, if you’re one of those couples, you may have more “sex” but not necessarily feel close. That’s because kissing is actually more intimate than genital touching or orgasms. It creates closeness, bonding and can lead to better sex overall. 

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