man and woman on couch arguing

Do you have Power Struggles in Your Relationship?

Couples are often told to learn the art of compromise. Find the middle ground. Make your decision a win-win for everyone involved. Satisfy both needs.

Those are wise words and yes, you have to find ways to factor in what you and your partner want when making decisions. In many situations, that advice works. 

But, what if you can’t do that?

What if your situation is a bit more black and white? What if, whatever decision is made, somebody loses out?

There are some conflicts with no easy compromise.

Examples include:

  • You want another child and your partner doesn’t
  • You’ve dreamed of moving to another state but your partner doesn’t want to leave family
  • Your partner wants to adopt a pet and you don’t want to
  • You both want your child to have a stay-at-home parent – each wants the other to put their career on hold
  • You want an open marriage and your partner wants monogamy

You can see that, in the situations above, neither partner is “right” or “wrong” for wanting their desired outcome. There’s no malice here. Just two good people with two very different desires.

For many of these examples, it’s not easy to find middle ground. Most couples go around in circles, debating their points, trying to sway their partner in their direction, ending nowhere but frustrated and back at square one.

Or someone feels repeatedly, “unheard”.