Articles & Resources
Responsible Loving: How to Really Share, Listen and Connect
A Communication Pattern That Doesn’t Work You’d be amazed at how much your partner might say to you that you don’t actually hear. You may think you hear it. You might even place bets on how well you hear them. But if I gave you a pop quiz and asked you to repeat what...
How to Address Problems in Your Marriage
Steps to Address Problems in Your Marriage Does your stomach drop when your partner says, “We need to talk”? Ugh, the worst, right? It isn’t easy to sit in “the talk”, whether you’re the partner expressing dissatisfaction or the partner receiving the feedback. A...
Why Do Couples Stop Kissing?
Why Do Couples Stop Kissing? A friend recently told me that she had a bad dream... she said that in her dream, her spouse was a bad kisser! She said, "I felt so relieved to wake up and realize it was only a dream. Can you imagine?!" It got me thinking about the...
Behaviors That Might Drain Your Relationship
Behaviors that Drain Your Relationship When problems start in relationships, it’s easy to point fingers, blame our partners, and focus solely on their shortcomings. “If you would just ___________ (fill in the blank), we’d be great!” As I’ve written many times before,...
Relationship Maintenance: Is It Time for a Tune Up?
Relationship Maintenance I recently received a call from a former couple that I worked with. They said, “Can we come back in for a few sessions? We need a tune-up!” Relationships require a certain level of maintenance. Just like a car requires standard maintenance a...
How to Heal Your Relationship After a Betrayal
Healing After Infidelity and Betrayal I see many couples in the practice because of infidelity, affairs, cheating and/or betrayal. In these deeply painful experiences, couples not only struggle with the most fundamental concept of commitment but also with attempting...
Understanding Partner Differences
Understanding Partner Differences Something happens to us in early courtship. Flooded with hormones, we see our partner through a blind set of eyes. They can do no wrong. They light us up from within. They’re everything we’ve ever wanted. “Soulmates”. We tend to see...
Sensate Focus for Better Sex
Sensate Focus In couples and sex therapy, one of the best suggestions I give some couples who struggle with sex is to not have sex. Seems counterintuitive, right? After all, how are couples supposed to work on their sex life or create better sex if they stop having...
What Sex Ed Didn’t Teach You About Sex
What Sex-Ed Didn't Teach You Wouldn’t it be great if our parents and the systems at large helped us learn, at an early age, about how to be in a sexual relationship with someone else? In couples and sex therapy, the majority of individuals and couples that I work...
When Sexual Desires Differ
Sexual desire mismatch may be more common than you realize. As a relationship and sex therapist, I see a common problem amongst couples: one partner often wants more sex than the other. I can safely say that I discuss this issue with clients on a weekly basis. It’s...
How to Be a More Interesting Partner
Is Your Relationship Boring? During the pandemic I had to confront reality about myself... and my marriage. “I” and “We” were boring. Sure, the pandemic limited the world in many ways. But I couldn’t use the pandemic as a scapegoat. I personally teetered on the status...
Choosing to Stay in Your Relationship
Should you stay in your relationship? For better or for worse. These sacred words, uttered by so many couples, symbolizes the shared commitment that they expect each other to hold up no matter what happens in life. A blog reader recently wrote to me expressing shame...
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