5 Important Facts You Must Know About Erectile Dysfunction

by Carolynn Aristone | Aug 7, 2014 | Aging, General, Sex Education, Sexual Dysfunction

Erectile Dysfunction

No one welcomes erectile dysfunction, also known as ED.

Up to 30 million men in the United States experience ED in their lifetime.

ED is the inability to achieve or maintain an erection throughout the completion of sexual activity for a period of 6 months.

The emergence of this dysfunction often causes significant psychological and relational distress for both the symptom bearer and their partner.

Like many sexual disorders, the onset of ED usually involves a complex history that requires a thorough assessment and an interdisciplinary approach. This means that if you decide to seek therapeutic support for ED or any other sexual disorder, it’s crucial to meet with a qualified therapist who possesses a thorough understanding of your particular sexual dysfunction.

Below I’ve listed five critical components to help you understand ED and what you can do about it.

FACT #1:

YOU MAY HAVE AN UNDERLYING MEDICAL CONDITION

The following information is probably the most important thing that you need to know about ED (and is often the most overlooked). ED is often linked to underlying medical problems.

ED can be an early symptom of a larger disease. The most commonly seen are vascular conditions that inhibit the circulation of blood to the penis. Neurological diseases, hormonal imbalances (not enough testosterone), diabetes and prostate cancer are known contributors to ED.

If you are working with a therapist on ED, be sure to create a team of support that not only includes your therapist but a good urologist and general practitioner.

FACT #2:

ED SHOWS UP IN MANY FORMS

ED can show up in a variety of ways. Although rare, some men experience lifelong ED. Others acquire ED after having had satisfactory erections in the past. If you acquired ED, you may have experienced it slowly over time or suddenly.

ED can also be general or situational. General means ED happens in all sexual situations, whether alone or partnered. Situational ED is more common and only occurs with certain partners or at certain times. In any case, a full medical and psychological work up is important to help you resolve your symptoms.

FACT #3:

ED MAY REFLECT OTHER ISSUES

Sadly, the medical community seems to view ED as primarily a biological issue.

Docs dispense medications like Viagra or Cialis like candy without offering psychological support. ED can be a reaction to psychological and relational distress.

Many cases of ED involve issues of anxiety, depression, poor self-image, lack of relational satisfaction, lack of physical attraction, negative sexual messages from the family of origin, feelings of inadequacy, sexual incompatibility, religious contradictions to sex, to name a few.

Effectively resolving ED requires a holistic approach to treatment.

If you have already consulted with a urologist, be sure to include a qualified sex therapist as part of your treatment team.

Fact #4:

HOW YOU THINK INFLUENCES ED

ED functions similarly to panic disorder. Once you’ve had your first panic attack, you grow fearful and anxious of experiencing it again. Your anxiety about having another panic attack breeds an attack.

ED works the same way. One single episode of ED can manifest a significant amount of anxiety about recurrence. That anxiety leaves no room for arousing sexual thoughts. Before sex commences or during sex, your anxiety recreates ED.

For some, this vicious cycle becomes harder and harder to escape.

With the right guidance, you can learn how to restructure your thought patterns and reduce performance anxiety.

FACT #5:

ED AFFECTS ALL PARTIES INVOLVED

ED does not just affect you. Unfortunately, as a result of ED, your partner may suffer significant relational distress. Your partner may place blame on themselves for the development of your ED.

They may feel unattractive, confused, and abandoned. As a result, they may develop low sexual desire. Since ED greatly impacts confidence levels, you too might develop low sexual desire. If not treated, these symptoms can lead to greater relational problems.

ED may be the cause of your relational problems or the result of your relational problems. This dysfunction affects you and your partner individually as well as how you exist together.

***

You may feel ashamed and embarrassed about this diagnosis. You are not alone.

Do not allow these difficult reactions to prevent you from seeking treatment. Your body is communicating an important message. Your physical health and/or your relationship may be at risk.

The good news is that help is available to you. With the right team in place, you and your partner can learn how to create a strong, healthy relationship and a satisfying sex life.

Mindfulness, Stress and Meaning

by Carolynn Aristone | Jun 4, 2014 | General, Personal Growth

Mindfulness, Stress, Meaning

This week, I graduated from a Sex Therapy Certification program. I enrolled in the program back in September. I have grown by leaps and bounds in my clinical approach with clients. I have much to celebrate. But this growth required some sacrifice, personally, professionally and financially.

Growth is never easy. For anyone. Even therapists. Somewhere along the road toward my certification, I started to drop the balls I desperately tried to juggle. In balancing the demands of parenting, business, family, marriage, household responsibilities and school work, I felt stressed to my max.

Often, we don’t know how stressed we are until things start falling apart, including our bodies. Stress can render one immobile and that’s exactly what began to happen to me, literally. Stress took refuge in my neck. I could feel the muscles around my vertebrae wound tight like a fist, compressing my bones. I visited chiropractors, tried to squeeze in acupuncture and some basic, inconsistent stretching. Nothing worked.

In addition to that, despite my excitement about my role as student and what the future held for my work, I felt melancholy. For the first time in my life, I didn’t feel excited about my birthday. I snapped at my kids and spouse a bit more, forgot to pay some bills on time and overall felt, well, not my usual self.

As I’ve been checking in with myself over the past few months, I also realized that I had not been living from a spirited place. I’ve been checking off my to-do list. That’s it. Activities that felt deeply meaningful to me took a back seat, including my beloved yoga practice. So while I accomplished many tasks, I did it from an uninspired, un-grounded place.

Yoga has been with me for many years. It has even saved me from depths of deep despair when I’ve had to deal with difficult life events. When flexible in my body and fully in my breath, I feel most alive. Yoga brings strength, clarity and peace even in the midst of the most distressing events. Yoga brings me back to myself yet helps me see beyond myself. It reminds me of my interconnection to all things.

After much reflection, I am glad to write that I have returned to my source. The beauty of yoga is that it is always accessible to me. All I need is my body…and to show up on the mat. If I had remained consistent in my yoga practice this past year, I would have felt much more ease, flexibility and joy. I forgive myself and start anew.

In an effort to stay committed to my self-care, I have themed my summer, “Rise Up”. I have made a list of what I want to engage in that brings meaning, inspiration and joy to my life. You can bet that an active daily yoga practice takes high priority. My self-care will benefit myself as well as my spouse, children and work.

I am particularly excited to blend the principles of yoga with my recent sex therapy training. A true combination of time-tested Eastern wisdom along with research-based Western methodologies. The possibilities are endless!

How do you bring meaning and inspiration into your life? How do you get in touch with the deepest parts of yourself? How do you sustain this connection when life feels difficult? How do you maintain connection to others when stressed?

Consider these questions. I welcome you to email me your responses. Perhaps you can join me, Rise Up this summer and live from an authentic, inspired place.

**“In every moment you have the time to feel, in every feeling you have the chance to heal and in every person there is the power to feel it“. ~ Bija Bennet, author of Emotional Yoga**

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